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· Your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency visit after 6 hours / days / weeks / months / years?".
· You check the caller id on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work.
· You've been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at another table throw up.
· Your bladder can expand to the size of a Mack Truck's Radiator Sump.
· When checking the level of a patient's orientation you aren't sure of the answer.
· You find yourself checking out other customers veins in grocery waiting lines.
· You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they will drop near you and you'll have to do cpr on your day off.
· You have had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there".
· You have ever had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.
· You have restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.
· You have seen more vaginas/penises than any prostitute.
· You disbelieve 90% of what you are told and 75% of what you see.